2014 has definitely been one of the worst years of my life. I’ve been thinking a lot about the class I’ve failed. I studied so much & I should have passed- but I can’t really stay stuck in the past otherwise I’ll become crazy.
My first failure I blamed it on my job & I still hold on to that. Some people can work and pass with flying colors, but I just cant.
This summer I worked my butt off to pay for school, I saved up a good amount of money. I planned a trip to Cali and I still had money left over for school.
However, life comes at you and unfortunately, we lost an uncle to a Heart attack and my dad had to go to Mexico. Now, my family is not rich- we live comfortably and we manage our spending to avoid falling behind in our bills. I always have extra money because my parents are awesome and they don’t charge me to live with them (although I do always help with little bills). Anyhow, I had to give a good amount of my savings to help out my family with this terrible loss (which I do not regret doing).
I ended up having less money for school, but I knew I would be okay. To make things short, my dad has a chronic condition and besides that he got Shingles and soon after he was injured at his work and he was in a great amount of pain which consequently led to surgery.
I was worried of course, I love my dad & seeing him like this definitely got me stressed. To make matters worse my mom started to feel ill. To be honest I was feeling overwhelmed.
I’m being very short and simple with what my family has gone through (and we are still going through it) but I believe that even though I was studying my brain off, that stress really got to me. I don’t think I was 100%. I just never have failed something twice & to me it’s unfathomable.
In fact after I failed, I went into this sort of weird phase where everything is surreal. I couldn’t believe it was happening to me and I was extremely worried about my parents. In the near future (as an NP) I want to have my own clinic and I will be taking care of my parents. They are not the healthiest of people and I know that they will need me. My failures/set backs cause me to worry myself up to the point where I just cant handle it.
I had my family issues which eventually led to other problems and then I failed and I was upset.
I think I’ve mentioned it before but I am doing much better. I don’t randomly burst into tears and I’m just going to roll with it.
Wish me luck guys, I need to get my petition granted.
Adult Health will not be the end of me- I refuse to believe that.