The way I see it

Uncertain

Guess what?

I turned in my nursing application this past Monday ( June 19th). I waited so long to jump back in that I’ll have to redo some classes but I am overall OK with it. Its not ideal but I can’t complain.

I was told that I start in 2- 3 semesters.

Now, its yet again another waiting game. This time I will win.

Life is funny –

My mother was admitted to the hospital on the 16th of June (shes out now).  She has been having this intense pain on her abdomen (RUQ).  I wont  go into much detail because this blog is more Nursing related (Plus writing about it makes me very sensitive)
but this Blog post has been left unfinished for a while and the situation can be related to Nursing.

Today is 07/10/2017- and to simplify things, on July 3rd- my mother was told that she had about 3-6 months to live.

This situation has gotten me thinking about lots of things;  one of those things is Nursing School.  I am now, more than anything motivated to finish.

I’m worried about our financial situation, about my younger siblings, my dad….my mother.

Things have gotten incredibly hard-

I am a living emotional roller-coaster.

I don’t want to loose my mom-

I wish things were different but if life has taught me anything- it’s that we cant live in the past…because thinking of the “Could haves” doesn’t changed the “now”.

I’m going to work extra hard now.

I want her to see me getting back into nursing school, I want her to see me graduate.

Pray for us

Send us positive vibes-

Love those around you-

 

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The way I see it

2017

I have to admit that last year was NOT what I expected or had planned out. That’s life though and I am much better at going with the flow. I believe in my last post I said something about not posting until I have news with Nursing school. Well the news is that there is NO news.

Does this mean I have given up? No, it just means I didn’t sort out my priorities.  I have this full time job and I let it consume me. I was so caught up with just working and doing the adult thing that I nearly forgot about my dreams. Keyword: NEARLY.

I went back to Gateway and will be applying for all of the nursing programs. I’m going to retake the HESI to get a more competitive score.

This year i will stay focused. If I’ve learned from my mistakes then this year will be good 🙂

Nursing school…my never ending story.

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The way I see it

One Way or Another

Today is Wednesday- 1745- its hot and I’ve got a headache.  It’s this nagging, non stop pulse like headache.

This past Monday I went to Community College.  I got there approximately at 0945 to meet with an adviser and I talked to one around 1345.  Yes, it was a very LONG wait, BUT highly effective.  I only regretted not meeting with her earlier.

Its kind of funny how I only started working so I could save up for school, but I let my work delay the process of my applying.

I have to retake the HESI exam, because I sped through it thinking I was going to be tested on Chemistry and Biology.  I was NOT tested on that material and I ended up finishing a whole hour early.  I sped through math when I could have taken my time.  I didn’t get the required score.  I can only retake it after 60 days…

I hate that I messed up but I’m done beating myself up over it.
I also emailed the Nursing Director for permission to reenter and I gave me all of the syllabus from my nursing classes.  I also attached my transcripts from ASU and I already spoke to the Nursing Director from ASU who will be writing my letter of why I am no longer at ASU.

Shes going to decide my fate (in regards to Nursing only…I’m dramatic, but not that dramatic)

I have to admit that I have been feeling somewhat humiliated, but this is what I want.  I’m going to become a nurse one way or another.

I don’t know if I can start this semester (I hope I can), if I can’t start this semester I will have to begin again….or so I’ve been told.

It’s definitely hard news, but I’m okay.

I will do this.

 

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The way I see it

Just Keep Swimming!

It’s ironic since I don’t know how to swim, but I’m going to assume you all have seen Finding Nemo.  Life plans have not been going at all.  It’s almost hilarious- like the world is laughing at me, but I’m going with it.  It’s what you have to do to remain sane people….just ROLL with it.  Trust me- you get used to it.

In a previous post I mentioned that I got a job and I really do like it.  I share an office with an older lady.  She talks A LOT.  I like her, but just the way she goes on and on- I hope I don’t loose my sanity.  While working here, I have found myself mildly obsessed with some guy.  I’ll talk about him later- hes a very nice distractor from everything.

I went to go talk to a lady from NAU/Community College.  I am still going to be a nurse, but I need to know how that is going to happen.  She gave me GREAT advise…which was  a reality check.   I know I’m in a deep hole but she was just so blunt/nice about it and she just wanted to help me out.  ASU already denied my petition and my ASU adviser (shes great too) pretty much told me that ASU was a no go.  The NAU lady, instead of suckering me into coming to her school (which they would but it would take me longer) she told me to “beg, cry and steal” to get back into ASU.  I am so much closer if I go back than any of my other options.   Right now my transcripts are being reviewed and I could potentially be placed in third block-but I could still need 10  more classes & that is IF I get into block 3.  I was going to petition back into ASU anyhow, but it was more of a “bleh” effort.  After listening to her, I’m going to petition and I am going to really sell my story.  I did have a lot of obstacles in my previous failures and I’m just going to really push that.  If it weren’t for those issues, community potentially could have been my only failure.  If ASU still says no then Ill have no choice but to go to plan B. I just have to truly try- and in the end it’ll be okay =)

In regards to my CNA plans, looks like they are put on hold *world laughing*  I got an email last Wednesday saying that the AZBN denied my waiver because it had to be done within 2 years.  I knew about the two years, and I thought that the clinical rotations I’ve been doing since then would count.  I am hoping that it is mistake and they will see all of the rotations  I’ve been doing.

Needless to say I cried and what not….I got crushed all over again.

Things just didn’t work out for me and you now what- That is life.  I must never compare myself to the rest though because that is when I start to feel very incompetent.  We are all different and I am not going to measure myself up to no one except me.  I don’t blame anyone for what is happening except for myself, and you now what- I am learning from every single thing that happens to me.

I’ll keep you all posted

 

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The way I see it

The Bus Ride

You know, I’ve never actually started something that I didn’t finish, unless you count terrible books. I received an email today with the nursing committees  decision. My petition, it was denied. I will not be able to retake the community nursing class.  What a way to start  the year.  I am going to change half of my goals for the 2016.  I am pretty sad about it but I wasn’t completely destroyed. I knew what the outcomes could be and  I was somewhat prepared for the worst.   I was expecting the worst and hoping for the best.  The thing is, I wasn’t prepared for the extent of that worst.  I have dissapointed my family for sure and that is what really breaks my heart.  Things are definitely not working out how I wished for…and it’s really no one’s fault except my own.  All I can say right now is that I don’t know exactly what I am going to do.  My plan to become a nurse is temporally on hold. Plan B wasn’t exactly what I wanted to fall back into, but it’s all I have.
It was there mainly for security.  I don’t feel secure about anything in regards to my future, and I am almost freaking 25.  I hate that. It shouldn’t have happened…
Have you ever ridden the bus?  It’s almost like being in a city and the bus you were on stops and you’re left on an unknown road due to previous detours. You think the bus would have eventually led you to the correct place, but it stopped and you are the only one that gets off.  You known where you want to be but the way to get there isnt the one you previously Google map(ed).
All you can do is look for another bus that can take you towards the place you’ve been meaning to get to, or somewhere near it.
Life is not like a box full of chocolates,  life is like taking the city bus.

And let me tell you…Taking the bus sucks.

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Well Hello 2016

Well, this past year did not go according to plan.  It has definitely been a disappointing year.  However, I have my family, my health and the loveliest of friends.  I still have a lot of good that I can hang on too.  Its the simple things that make me happy and sometimes i forget.  Its so easy to forget when things you yearn for fall right out of your hands; but I have been reminded that life revolves around so many aspects and Nursing school is just one small part of my life.  I don’t plan on giving up just yet- I’m willing to try one more time…

Speaking of which, I had the Nursing Committee Meeting this morning.  I believe it went well.  They were all new members, I am not sure if that is a good thing, but I guess we’ll find out.  I was asked about my past failures and even my prerequisites.  My throat went completely dry (good thing they had a water bottle ready for me), and I was just as honest as I could be.  They want me to make objectives before they can give me an answer in regards to continuing into the program.  I will find out by Friday.  I am pretty calm about things, although I am not going to lie -I randomly freak out and burst into a 5 second tear fest and then I compose myself.

I should be crowned the Anxiety Queen.

I will say that 2015 was better than 2014 so I’m looking forward to 2016.  Like many people out there I came up with a handful of goals that I hope to accomplish this year.  Just keep in mind that these goals can change and as time passes, that list will only grow. My goals (depending on what happens Friday) are the following

  1.  Pass Community with an A
  2. Graduate from Nursing School
  3. Pass the NCLEX
  4. Have Faith, hope & Charity- Forgive, Forget and Love (Remember Lots Wife)
  5. Go on a trip
  6. Save 20% out of every paycheck
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