The way I see it

The Bus Ride

You know, I’ve never actually started something that I didn’t finish, unless you count terrible books. I received an email today with the nursing committees  decision. My petition, it was denied. I will not be able to retake the community nursing class.  What a way to start  the year.  I am going to change half of my goals for the 2016.  I am pretty sad about it but I wasn’t completely destroyed. I knew what the outcomes could be and  I was somewhat prepared for the worst.   I was expecting the worst and hoping for the best.  The thing is, I wasn’t prepared for the extent of that worst.  I have dissapointed my family for sure and that is what really breaks my heart.  Things are definitely not working out how I wished for…and it’s really no one’s fault except my own.  All I can say right now is that I don’t know exactly what I am going to do.  My plan to become a nurse is temporally on hold. Plan B wasn’t exactly what I wanted to fall back into, but it’s all I have.
It was there mainly for security.  I don’t feel secure about anything in regards to my future, and I am almost freaking 25.  I hate that. It shouldn’t have happened…
Have you ever ridden the bus?  It’s almost like being in a city and the bus you were on stops and you’re left on an unknown road due to previous detours. You think the bus would have eventually led you to the correct place, but it stopped and you are the only one that gets off.  You known where you want to be but the way to get there isnt the one you previously Google map(ed).
All you can do is look for another bus that can take you towards the place you’ve been meaning to get to, or somewhere near it.
Life is not like a box full of chocolates,  life is like taking the city bus.

And let me tell you…Taking the bus sucks.

The way I see it

Well Hello 2016

Well, this past year did not go according to plan.  It has definitely been a disappointing year.  However, I have my family, my health and the loveliest of friends.  I still have a lot of good that I can hang on too.  Its the simple things that make me happy and sometimes i forget.  Its so easy to forget when things you yearn for fall right out of your hands; but I have been reminded that life revolves around so many aspects and Nursing school is just one small part of my life.  I don’t plan on giving up just yet- I’m willing to try one more time…

Speaking of which, I had the Nursing Committee Meeting this morning.  I believe it went well.  They were all new members, I am not sure if that is a good thing, but I guess we’ll find out.  I was asked about my past failures and even my prerequisites.  My throat went completely dry (good thing they had a water bottle ready for me), and I was just as honest as I could be.  They want me to make objectives before they can give me an answer in regards to continuing into the program.  I will find out by Friday.  I am pretty calm about things, although I am not going to lie -I randomly freak out and burst into a 5 second tear fest and then I compose myself.

I should be crowned the Anxiety Queen.

I will say that 2015 was better than 2014 so I’m looking forward to 2016.  Like many people out there I came up with a handful of goals that I hope to accomplish this year.  Just keep in mind that these goals can change and as time passes, that list will only grow. My goals (depending on what happens Friday) are the following

  1.  Pass Community with an A
  2. Graduate from Nursing School
  3. Pass the NCLEX
  4. Have Faith, hope & Charity- Forgive, Forget and Love (Remember Lots Wife)
  5. Go on a trip
  6. Save 20% out of every paycheck