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The Sad Truth

I just came out of my final for Psych.  A little bit of background on that class.  I’ve been doing fairly well ( a lot better than Adult Health).  However, I still needed to pass this Final to pass the course.

In Nursing School you have to have a cumulative average of a 77% on all tests.  Therefore, If you get all As in your assignments but you do not meet that average of a 77% on the exams you will fail.  Anyhow,  I studied A LOT for it, and as I took the exam I was relieved when I knew most of the answers.  However,  as time passes, I am feeling that dreadful anxiety that doesn’t let me breathe properly.  I have a tight feeling in my chest and I feel sick to my stomach.

The last Final I took, I failed and look where that got me.  I do not know what I will do if I fail the final I just took.  I used to know when I failed or passed, and now I am an uncertain mess.

The sad truth is that I do not trust myself anymore.

 

 

 

As I write this I am sitting outside my home (locked out) and I am feeling a little better by just looking at the trees as they move through the wind, feeling the breeze as if it were caressing me and listening to a beautiful birds song.

I love nature…it soothes the soul, gives peace to the mind, and calms my overly fast beating heart.

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I Was Approved!

OH my gosh, 

Guys GREAT news, my petition was granted!!!

I am beyond happy!

I attended a petition meeting this morning.  I had an idea of what they were going to ask me; “Why should we let you retake the class?”  

I was a nervous wreck.  I was a professionally nervous looking wreck.  

My meeting was at 1100 I got there around 1040 and I waited. I pretended to read a magazine, I was so nervous I didn’t even notice I was holding it upside down till I was called in.  There were five women around what seemed to be a conference table.  I sat in the very front.  They all were very pleasant and introduced themselves. 
And still….I wanted to cry, beg on my knees for mercy…
No, but seriously I wanted to cry.  Sure enough they asked me why they should consider my petition, and what I would do different.  I answered them with the truth.  I was also asked why I had I failed my class.  I explained the situation,  I simply got to overconfident….and I went into detail.  

Anyhow, only about two of them asked me questions.  I was told that they would let me know by the end of the week.  
Great, by then I’ll be dead…..but I thanked them for their time and wished them a wonderful day.  As I left the office, the lady at the desk told me she was wishing me the best.  Those were kind words.  I love kind words.  

Sure enough almost as soon as I stepped out of the office where the meeting was held I burst into tears.  That lasted about 3 seconds, I mentally slapped myself- you know when Edna, the designer from The Incredibles slaps Elastic Girl “Put-Yourself-Together!!!!” 

 Yea, that was me.  

I was just so stressed, and after that little burst of emotion I felt better.

I went to work, then I went home…I checked my email to find this lovely title in my inbox

Petition Results

I started to freak out “they said by the end of the week!” I opened the email and it read the following: 

Please find the results of your petition(s) attached. If you have any further questions about this decision please contact Student Services at 602-000-0000

What would you think if you got that up there!?

I almost cried, I opened the attachment and by the end of the paper the approved box was marked 

I going to do it you guys, I am still in Nursing School, 

I got to say that that scared me right into studying (& cutting my work hours).  I have been doing very well so far.  I definitely learned my lesson.  Don’t worry, You will not hear about me failing any other course ever again =)

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