The way I see it


I have to admit that last year was NOT what I expected or had planned out. That’s life though and I am much better at going with the flow. I believe in my last post I said something about not posting until I have news with Nursing school. Well the news is that there is NO news.

Does this mean I have given up? No, it just means I didn’t sort out my priorities. ¬†I have this full time job and I let it consume me. I was so caught up with just working and doing the adult thing that I nearly forgot about my dreams. Keyword: NEARLY.

I went back to Gateway and will be applying for all of the nursing programs. I’m going to retake the HESI to get a more competitive score.

This year i will stay focused. If I’ve learned from my mistakes then this year will be good ūüôā

Nursing school…my never ending story.

The way I see it

One Way or Another

Today is Wednesday- 1745- its hot and I’ve got a headache.¬† It’s this nagging, non stop pulse like headache.

This past Monday I went to Community College.  I got there approximately at 0945 to meet with an adviser and I talked to one around 1345.  Yes, it was a very LONG wait, BUT highly effective.  I only regretted not meeting with her earlier.

Its kind of funny how I only started working so I could save up for school, but I let my work delay the process of my applying.

I have to retake the HESI exam, because I sped through it thinking I was going to be tested on Chemistry and Biology.¬† I was NOT tested on that material and I ended up finishing a whole hour early.¬† I sped through math when I could have taken my time.¬† I didn’t get the required score.¬† I can only retake it after 60 days…

I hate that I messed up but I’m done beating myself up over it.
I also emailed the Nursing Director for permission to reenter and I gave me all of the syllabus from my nursing classes.  I also attached my transcripts from ASU and I already spoke to the Nursing Director from ASU who will be writing my letter of why I am no longer at ASU.

Shes going to decide my fate (in regards to Nursing only…I’m dramatic, but not that dramatic)

I have to admit that I have been feeling somewhat humiliated, but this is what I want.¬† I’m going to become a nurse one way or another.

I don’t know if I can start this semester (I hope I can), if I can’t start this¬†semester I will have to¬†begin again….or so I’ve been told.

It’s definitely hard news, but I’m okay.

I will do this.


The way I see it


I’m currently just sitting in my living room thinking of what I want in my future.¬† The verb in all of this is sitting and thinking.¬† I need to change that.¬† It seems like I’ve said this everyday, but I’m going to get stuff done today!

I wont write again until I have an update on this nursing stuff or something abnormally interesting happens.



The way I see it

It’s May

I’ve been reading old posts.¬† I went from Class of 2015 to Class of 2016 to Class of Who the Hell knows.¬† It’s¬†a¬†little funny now, and a little sad.¬† Tomorrow is my day off from work, and I will go to the AZBN office and ask about that CNA test.¬† My waiver got denied because I took the courses over 2 years ago.¬† In the email it said pending ASU transcript, so I am confused as to why it says that since I sent it all at the same time.¬† Anyhow, I’m going tomorrow and clearing this whole mess up.¬† I don’t see why they should deny my waiver when I’ve been doing clinical rotations practically every semester.¬† It’s not like I lost practice.
I shouldn’t be surprised though…everything has been going wrong (Nursing related).

I just have to keep pursuing it because It’s what I want.¬† I went ahead and ordered the HESI A2 book so I can begin to study.¬† I will pass that test with flying colors! I’m actually excited to study that book.¬† I can’t believe I am saying this, but I miss studying.
I need to get the ball rolling on this Nursing school stuff, I feel like I haven’t done much in regards to that aspect, and it’s because of my job.¬† I work Tuesday to Saturday 0900-1700 & consequently I only have Mondays to do everything.¬† I also have my other job Thursday-Saturday from 1800-2000, so practically my weekends revolve around ZERO fun.
Most likely I will change my days- perhaps cut a day or two from my second job.

Changing subjects, my case management position is pretty sweet.¬† I don’t hate my coworkers.¬† The work can get stressful, but its manageable.¬† My office buddy, whom I will call Lola is absolutely hilarious.¬† Shes one of those people that isn’t trying to be funny, but the way she interacts with people is funny.¬† Shes slightly awkward and the best part is that she doesn’t talk a lot.¬† She lets me work.

In my next post I will talk more about what I do exactly.¬† Untill then ….

Stay safe =)


The way I see it

Oh Brother…

Well, things have definitely taken a turn for the UNKNOWN.¬† I know what I want, I know I will eventually get it- but my life time line is completely skewed.¬† I have no way of fixing it due to the fact that I am still not sure if I will start school this semester.¬† I absolutely HATE it.¬† I don’t think you can possibly know this gut awful feeling I get when I think about my future-it sucks.¬† I’ve said it before & Ill say it again…I just have to roll with what comes at me.

Its pretty late so I cant/wont elaborate.  Stay tune.

Just know that my Nursing Career is NOT over =)

& also know that I have a serious crush on someone, which is a very nice distraction from my own self regulating/torturous  thoughts. 



The way I see it

Just Keep Swimming!

It’s ironic since I don’t know how to swim, but I’m going to assume you all have seen Finding Nemo. ¬†Life plans have not been going at all. ¬†It’s almost hilarious- like the world is laughing at me, but I’m going with it. ¬†It’s what you have to do to remain sane people….just ROLL with it. ¬†Trust me- you get used to it.

In a previous post I mentioned that I got a job and I really do like it. ¬†I share an office with an older lady. ¬†She talks A LOT. ¬†I like her, but just the way she goes on and on- I hope I don’t loose my sanity. ¬†While working here, I have found myself mildly obsessed with some guy. ¬†I’ll talk about him later- hes a very nice distractor from everything.

I went to go talk to a lady from NAU/Community College. ¬†I am still going to be a nurse, but I need to know how that is going to happen. ¬†She gave me GREAT advise…which was ¬†a reality check. ¬† I know I’m in a deep hole but she was just so blunt/nice about it and she just wanted to help me out. ¬†ASU already denied my petition and my ASU adviser (shes great too) pretty much told me that ASU was a no go. ¬†The NAU lady, instead of suckering me into coming to her school (which they would but it would take me¬†longer) she told me to “beg, cry and steal” to get back into ASU. ¬†I am so much closer if I go back than any of my other options. ¬† Right now my transcripts are being reviewed and I could potentially be placed in third block-but I could still need 10 ¬†more classes & that is IF I¬†get into block 3. ¬†I was going to petition back into ASU anyhow, but it was more of a “bleh” effort. ¬†After listening to her, I’m going to petition and I am going to really sell my story. ¬†I did have a lot of obstacles in my previous failures and I’m just going to really push that. ¬†If it weren’t for those issues, community potentially could have been my only failure. ¬†If ASU still says no then Ill have no choice but to go to plan B. I just have to truly try- and in the end it’ll be okay =)

In regards to my CNA plans, looks like they are put on hold *world laughing* ¬†I got an email last Wednesday saying that the AZBN denied my waiver because it had to be done within 2 years. ¬†I knew about the two years, and I thought that the clinical rotations I’ve been doing since then would count. ¬†I am hoping that it is mistake and they will see all of the rotations ¬†I’ve been doing.

Needless to say I cried and what not….I got crushed all over again.

Things just didn’t work out for me and you now what- That is life. ¬†I must never compare myself to the rest though because that is when I start to feel very incompetent. ¬†We are all different and I am not going to measure myself up to no one except me. ¬†I don’t blame anyone for what is happening except for myself, and you now what- I am learning from every single thing that happens to me.

I’ll keep you all posted


The way I see it

What do you seek in life?

This is old. ¬†I believe this draft has been sitting here since January of 2014. ¬†I read it and I don’t know why I never posted it.
I always say “Life revolves around money.” I think most of us can relate to that, decisions are influenced by the amount of money we have or don’t have. ¬†However, ¬†I forget that sometimes I want that extra money to be happy. ¬†We ALL want to be happy…every single one of us. ¬†We all have different ways on getting¬†this happiness.

Yesterday I was at a behavioral health court (as part of an audience). ¬†Some people were fighting the petition for mandated treatment and some were demanding their right to get such treatment. ¬†The first case I¬†¬†heard was a women who wanted the treatment mandated by the court so her husband could get better (he didn’t want it).¬† I’m not going to share every detail, but the man couldn’t work due to his issues. ¬†She didn’t care- she wanted him healthy and there with her.

Maybe she just wants¬†the money that comes along with treatment- that is exactly what I was thinking. ¬†Then she surprised me…

“I don’t care about the money…I met him in the bus” and then she semi laughed.

I don’t know why that phrase hit¬†me the way it did. ¬†I could tell she was was being honest though. I just thought “wow” she doesn’t care about the money- she just wants him to be happy. ¬† I was reminded that money isn’t the solution to everything, ¬†I believe my friends with chronic conditions can attest to that.

As I read over this old post I can tell you that money does make one feel better, but it doesn’t bring you true happiness.

You guys know this.